"That's a good question. What is it. What is anything? Everything is potential. It's meant to be soft serve. I think. But who knows what's in it. Better not to eat at all." He presses one of the handles and watches the goop go downward before catching it in a paper cup and licking experimentally off the side.

"But it could be a makeshift sled, a transistor radio, a jury rigged explosive device spitting boiling hot custard at your enemies. What would you use it for?"